Not Your Sweetie

Dear Loved One of Victim(s) of the September 11, 2001 Terrorist Attack
on the World Trade Center: by Barry Crimmins

Please don't make any plans for the first anniversary of the massacre
of your dearly departed because we have an exciting day scheduled just
for you! Wear comfortable shoes!

Here's what we're going to do:

Bring you back to the pit that now marks the scene of the crime!

Give you a ringside seat as we lengthen the Valley of the Shadow of
Death and turn it into a made-for TV carnival, starring YOU!!

Make you sit through an endless ceremony! (The kids/orphans will love
it!)

Retraumatize you by making sure there is a heavily armed, militaristic
vibe at all times!

PLEASE NOTE: After the ceremony, you'll be expected to mill around for
several more hours as you wait to have your picture taken with the
trained chimp whose negligence and stupidity were essential elements in
the success of the crime committed against your loved one! Please
depart promptly after your photo is taken because we have to have the
area cleared by 9PM so that NBC's "Fear Factor" can shoot a very
special Ground Zero edition.

Please accept our gratitude for complying with this assault on your
privacy and dignity.

With warmest regards,

America, the Carnivorous

PS- Thank goodness you are still in shock or you would be much more
difficult to exploit!