Not Your Sweetie

Letterman: Top 10 Things going through W's mind falling off the Segway:
10. "Damn you, Al-Qaeda!"
9. "I'm sure Thomas Jefferson fell off his Segway every now and then"
8. "It looked so easy on 'The Jetsons'"
7. "I misunderestimated my center of gravity"
6. "Thank God no one got a picture of this"
5. "Only 4 days 'til Hulk! Only 4 days 'til Hulk! Only 4 days 'til Hulk!"
4. "Damn, this thing would give Cheney, like, 3 heart attacks"
3. "Congratulations, Segway -- you just joined the axis of evil"
2. "To distract everyone, bomb the hell out of Syria"
1. "AHHHHHHHHH!"