Not Your Sweetie

jeff's poem

PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE
Solemnly I swear to uphold the laws of this
great land? except for Roe Vs. Wade?
the Clean Air and Water Act
the Endangered Species Act?
free speech, right to assemble,
no bid contract? wait? what? Oh, that?s ok.
I pledge allegiance to
Hum Vees, SUVs, Saudi Royal Family.
I pledge allegiance to an average report card
? to the Texas Heir National Guard.
because? I thought it was Heir, not Air.
Because I?m heir to the Bush throne.
But it?s hard? being presnident. It?s hard work.
I pledge allegiance to Swift Boats for Sleuth
And muddying up the voting booth.
To the red steaks? and the blue.
It?s time to separate the hate mongers
so we can examinate our defenseries
And come to a pository plastitude.
Time to decrease the innarceration rate
(unless it?s for ballot tampering).
Before it?s too late.
I steer the ship of state!
Bring the flood, father.
And let Damien Liebeskind
freedom?s child,
I?ve asked my friend to build
a fountain in the Holy Land
to honor the G Spot, a truly holy act.
I pledge allegiance to the Patriot Act.
You wanna read my e-mail?
I?ll write in Farsi?
what a farce?
one nation under a goon.
Under the hood
a donkey doing a unicorn.
Keep the myth alive!
In spite of cuckoo clocks
making a mockery of democracy.
Mission Accomplished! What?
Oh, not yet? Oh, not yet.
Enron, Chevron, da doo ron ron.
Haliburton good. Gay marriage?
a constitutional amendment!
Mary Cheney, she?s no daughter of
Dick Cheney? there?s not a gay boner
in his body. She must be
Osama?s bin Laden?s love puppy.
They all worked together.
Free pot, whachugot, Laura willl take it.
Smirk whine peeve pretend?
Put on my privliged brat routine.
Eagle fly?bomb the sky
with pledges of allegiance?.
I steer the ship of state.
Schwarzenegger, he?s my pronegee? see.
Terminator, gubernator? soon
you will be Presidentator!
Non residentator? green card girlie menator.
Immigration, elimination. Doesn?t matterator!
No problemo-ator! See.
Diebold and ESO had him cloned in Ohio?.
180,000 damaged ballots in Florida in 2000.
That was child?s play.
100% voting errors favored me in 2004.
100% (and more?I could die laughing)
of some of my precincts voting?
see? Americans? arrogance is romance.
Ignorance is a pistol! You catch my draft?
That?s why I?m publishing my own dictionater.
with words like nyucuhler and libral?
So?s ya?ll can learn to pronunciate more clearier.
Amen. Hot dog. Thank you God for
entrusting me with the keys
to the future of cheap energy.
I pledge allegiance to Bush.
Read my lapse. Hail to the chaff!
Jeffrey Cyphers Wright