Not Your Sweetie

Faux sues Al Franken on use of "Fair & Balanced" DU-er take:

All rise, the Honorable Judge gratuitous presiding
Have a seat, everyone. Well, I've reviewed the parties' pleadings, briefs and memoranda in this case, and heard the oral arguments of counsel. By the way, the stenographer had trouble transcribing the inarticulate grunts of the attorneys for Fox News Channel, so she just put in "Defendant bad" wherever it got too obscure. She also wasn't quite sure of the spelling of "Thhhbbbbbpppppttt," the raspberry that defense counsel blew during its oral argument. As you can see, the court had no such difficulty. Back to the matters at hand:
Clearly, the notion of "fair and balanced" as it pertains to the news has been given a special definition unique to the Fox News Corporation, and I believe that even counsel for the defendant conceded that no other organization in the history of news gathering and reporting has been fair and balanced the way Fox has been fair and balanced during the past eight years.
Defendant has, and plaintiff has conceded, for many years been publicly known as a wise ass, and no one with an IQ higher than 70 would be confused by any connection, real or implied, by the proposed title of defendant's book. The court believes this is prima facie evidence that the defendant's title is meant to confuse regular viewers of plaintiff's programming.
As such, I find that the plaintiff's suit is well taken, though the timing is not. Therefore, it is my judgment that the title of defendant's book shall be changed from "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right" to "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Balanced and Fair Look at the Right," and that because of the late filing of plaintiff's complaint in protecting its signature brand of "fair and balanced" news, plaintiff should bear the costs of reprinting.
Finally, it is the order of this court that should anything but the highest praise for this ruling appear either in future books, if any, by defendant or any public dissemination by plaintiff through any of its outlets, directly or indirectly, the offending party should consider its ass to be grass and this court a lawnmower.
{Bangs gavel.} We're adjourned.