Not Your Sweetie

== Still Watchin' Teletubbies, Pickin' Lint ==

War has brought little change to the regulated, by-the-numbers life of
the Shrubster, isn't that nice. He is not worried or plagued by doubts,
aides say, and is hewing closely to his usual routines and habits,
including but not limited to "riding" around the war room on a wooden
stick horsey while yelping like a drunk puppy and making explosion
sounds with his mouth, regular sing-along spongebaths by Momma Barbara,
actively decimating the very heart of a nation via innumerable odious
domestic policies that reek of corporate greedmongering, and sneaking
up to Uncle Dick every five minutes and yelling "sodomy!" to try and
get his defibrillator to make that funny high-pitched humming noise --
even as American bombs pelt Baghdad and allied tanks dash across the
Iraqi desert. "The president is following his normal routine," Bush's
spokesman, Ari Fleischer, actually said, as small angry worms ate at
his shriveled soul, just before the president left to spend the
weekend, as he has often throughout his term, at the secluded Camp
David presidential retreat, because there's nothing like that nice
feeling a nation gets when its president launches a big nasty
ultraviolent war and he runs off every weekend to take long naps and
play checkers. Don't let that little war disturb your jogging routine,
Mr. President. You little dink.