Not Your Sweetie

Mark Morford:
== Bush Says Yo 'Sup Homies I Be Down Wid Dat ==
BushCo is making a rare appearance before a group that represents black
Americans, part of an effort to build ties to a demographic group that
overwhelmingly voted against him in 2000 and pretty much thinks he is
the niddering dinkwad spawn of a hollow WASP mafia empire that pretty
much thinks black people are a scourge and a menace just like gays and
Latinos and Asians and dogs and ferrets and small European cars and
solar power and organic foods and love. Bush was to travel to
Pittsburgh on Monday to address a conference of the National Urban
League, a group less critical of his policies than the NAACP, which he
has shunned during his 2 1/2 years in office. Bush was planning on
testing out some of his new humorous zingers about smackin' up some
skank-ass crack ho's and dazzling the crowd with the story of the time
he was snorting blow off Beyonce's ass while "schwizzling the whizzle"
to 50 Cent wid Da Krew, cuz he's down with it. Black people everywhere
were preparing to recoil violently at the very thought of Bush coming
anywhere near an organization of black people and daring to pretend to
care about anything resembling racial outreach. Bush also planned on
trotting out the old chestnut that Condoleeza Rice was rumored to be
black, when in fact everyone knows she is a freakishly rigid spinster
automaton who scares small children and whom the black race officially
disowned roughly two decades ago.