Not Your Sweetie

Mark Morford:
== Let Them Eat Cake Off Lynne Cheney's Cellulitic Thigh ==

The nation's rocky economy sent 1.4 million more people into poverty
last year, a Census Bureau survey found. Nearly half of the newly
impoverished were children. Roughly 17.2 percent of children, or 12.2
million, lived in poverty in 2002, up from 16.4 percent, or over 11.5
million, in 2001, according to the American Community Survey results.
President Bush, distressed at the news, immediately gave huge tax
relief to the wealthiest Americans in the nation, slashed welfare and
school budgets and moneys for social programs of a thousand different
varieties, and gutted the national budget so severely that the states
were required to sell off their prettiest little girls to Thailand to
make extra cash just to pay for water and electricity and shopping mall
maintenance. Meanwhile, the GOP simply didn't give a damn, everyone
with any sense of tenderness or concern felt this crushing sense of
bitter ennui and sad detachment coupled with an overwhelming urge to
take a long hot bath and drink fine scotch and try to numb the savage
karmic pain, and one million unwanted dogs in shelters all across the
country waited, patiently, for someone to come and take them home.
There. Can we all just scream now?