Not Your Sweetie

Predictions for W's speech on DU - Alfredo

Good evening
Tonight I want to talk you you about bowel movements. I am not talking about those little balls that drip and drop, I am talking power dumps. You know, the type that take two flushes. The type that leaves your bung hole tired.
Do you know that I have just peed my pants. It's nice and warm.
Oh, where was I? Yes I was talking about when I was a fighter pilot, I peed my pants then too. I have a piece of popcorn stuck in the back of my mouth and it is driving me crazy.
You know, I can see myself in the TV camera, and there am I on that TV over there. I am waving back at me. I like TV but I can't eat pretzels when I watch anymore. Karl won't let me. Uncle Dick tries to get me to eat them, but he scares me. I don't like playing kiss the snake with him.
But seriously, you have to wash your hands when you are done, the backs too. Mommy told me that.
I'm going home and play Nitendo.