Not Your Sweetie

== Please Do Not Imagine The President's Puckered Lips ==
By Mark Morford

President Bush is a romantic at heart and a devoted family man, no
matter how stressful life gets at the White House, first lady Laura Bush
mumbles semi-coherently in a shockingly useless and tepid, upcoming Good
Housekeeping magazine interview that doesn't feature one mention of
Cuervo body shots or "pony rides." The heavily shellacked quasi-female
automaton with the perma-plastered smile and the negligible cultural
impact on anything anywhere says the best private time she and her
husband spend is at their ranch in Crawford, Texas, where they sit there
staring blankly out into the dust-choked plains, jaws slack,
occasionally smacking each other in the head with a two-by-four, and
reminiscing. "We like to go for rides at our ranch, before dinner," she
said, mechanically, as if tiny robotic worm-like creatures were yanking
little levers in her brain. making her talk. "He's a windshield cowboy,
as he says, which means he drives a pickup. We drive down into the
bottoms of the creekbeds and the riverbeds. And we do that nearly every
time we're there, nearly every day," she added. "Because we are
phenomenally boring and everything I do in my controlled little life is
a desperate cry for help, and/or a good ass-slap, like the kind Shrubby
used to give me when he came home late after sharing a nice 8-ball at a
Yale frat party," she did not continue, in a dazed reverie.
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2003/01/07/national2113EST0872.DTL&nl=fix