Not Your Sweetie

The
Debate that might have Been:



Tony Blair, moderator: Welcome to the first televised debate between
George W Bush and Saddam Hussein, live from United Nations headquarters
in New York. We will begin with a brief opening statement from each of you.

Bush: First of all I would just like to welcome my evil friend to the UN, one
of the great American institutions for the propulsion of freedom throughout
the world.

Saddam: Thank you, Great Satan. I hope that in today's debate we may find
some common ground between the Iraqi people's commitment to peace and
human progress and America's desire to destroy the Middle East.

Bush: Do I answer that?

Blair: No. The first question is quite simply this: do you have any links
with al-Qaida?

Bush: I do not.

Blair: The question is for President Saddam.

Saddam: As I told Mr Tony Benn clearly and simply, if I had links with
al-Qaida and I enjoyed those links then I would not be ashamed to tell the
world, but since I am ashamed to tell the world of this, it follows that I have
no such links.

Bush: Neither do I.