Not Your Sweetie

(#217) (Rated 5.00/1)

by TOTALLY COMMITTED on 03/09/2004 05:47:42 PM EST

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Clearsky -- No right or wrong, IMO. There are just some things that are unpleasant for people like me to deal with. This election became (hoas become?) too important to me, because in Wes Clark I saw the possibility of turning this country around for those who will be here in the next four years. I saw in him a once-in-a-lifetime leader who had appeared at just the right moment. I thought that all I had to do was work as hard as I could right along with all of you and there would be NO CHANCE OF FAILURE. I am having a problem dealing with that heartbreak. Now all I know is that Wesley Clark has to be on that ticket if I am to have a moment's peace. I truly believe that any other person on the ticket with Kerry will mean 4 more years of Bush.
And, to see all of you move on blithely (at least that's how it seems to me) to support John Kerry. Your effortless move to support him brings up many feelings... I am envious that I am not quite as adaptable. I am sad because I feel Wes deserves more loyalty than that. I am concerned because I feel I'm being "managed" into supporting someone I cannot without Wes being on the ticket. I feel resentful toward the DNC and the media, and that anger is making it difficult to let go of what might have been. I feel absolutely betrayed by a campaign staff whose salaries we all paid, but who screwed The General to the wall in the end. So, to see people I have fought alongside of moving to support someone else (someone I "know" better than all of you, I feel... and if I have misgivings, shouldn't that tell you to go slowly here? Maybe not. Who knows.)
Your're going to a place I cannot and will not go right now. And, I feel that I am being forced by some to face things that I may not need to face or support someone I cannot right now. The timing is wrong. People need to be able to have their own process around this.
So, wrong? No. But, remember, when you post things in order to drive home a point, you may be driving home a point that hurts someone deeply, frustrates someone's hopes and dreams, and inthe end may leave them feeling resentful, rather than supportive of what you are trying to get them to agree with.
I don't know if you've noticed or not (ROTFLMAO!) But I am kind of my own person. I think, feel, and do things as I see fit for me. But I am also veru ill at the moment, and the fragility of my health has made me sometimes too easily depressed and too weak. I HATE THAT. So I resist with a ferocity that some don't understand. When the time comes, I "will not go gentle into that good night" either. I am stubborn, loyal, and convinced the things my heart feels are all right. It hurts to think they might not be, is all...
So, thanks for answering honestly. I may not like what you have to say, but I will always think you have the right to say it.